RMH Studios presents

The Kaikai Debt Counter

A live, compounding, permanently public record of everything Kaikai owes. Anyone can add to it. Nobody can pay it down.

Kaikai currently owes

$39,072.64

+$0.09 every minute — 125% a year, compounded continuously

His credit score

466+0.0

RuinousPoorFairGoodExceptional

Recomputed from the books against the clock, and about as steady as his finances. Everyone watching sees the same number at the same instant.

Itemised on the books: $18,602.62
Added by members: $320.00
Creditors: 3

Ask about the debt

Who issues it, who settles it

The tab is public, but the paper behind it is not self-issued. Two RMH Capital desks stand between a line in the log and the number at the top of this page.

Investment Banking

RMH Capital — Debt Capital Markets

Structures and issues every instrument written against this balance. Each line on the tab below is originated here, priced at the appraiser’s mark, and placed on the books the moment it clears.

Treasury Management

RMH Capital — Counterparty Treasury & Risk Management

Books the repayments and carries the counterparty risk on a borrower whose balance has only ever gone one way. Anything Kaikai pays down settles through this team; so far it has had nothing to settle.

Neither desk works this out alone. Debt Capital Markets and Counterparty Treasury run the workout jointly — one marks the paper, the other marks the man behind it, and no restructuring clears without both. Kaikai has not been offered one.

The books, in detail

Every figure below is a basis, not a total — the browser compounds it against the clock, so these charts keep growing while you read them, exactly like the counter at the top. Pick a category to filter everything at once.

Live credit score

Recomputed continuously from the books, and about as stable as his finances. Everyone watching sees the same number at the same instant — it is a function of the clock, not a random walk in your tab.

418+0.0

RuinousPoorFairGoodExceptional

Stress test1.0×

Window low: 300
Window high: 515
Mean: 340
Volatility (σ): 45.9

What is dragging it down

Payment history 35.0%never, not once−193 pts
Utilisation 30.0%7814.5% of a $500 limit−163 pts
Length of history 15.0%0.0 years on file−83 pts
Credit mix 10.0%0 of 8 kinds of debt−55 pts
New accounts 10.0%4 opened in his name−37 pts

Utilisation is measured against a notional $500 limit — a limit large enough for the ratio to ever fall under 100% is a limit nobody would extend to this borrower. Payment history is not an estimate: there is no repayment path in this system at all, so “never” is the literal state of the data.

Compounded balance: $0.00
Pure interest: $0.00
Lines on the books: 0
People involved: 0
Median debt: $0.00
Gini coefficient: 0.000
Spread: $0.00
Kinds of debt: 0/8
Rate: 125%
Passes $10.00: never
Archive covers: 0.0 years
Biggest single line: $0.00

Filter every chart

Put there by people: $0.00 · 0
Recovered from his history: $0.00 · 0

Why he’s in debt

$18,602.62 itemised across 604 lines

Every line he never paid, newest first. Keep scrolling and the ledger keeps digging — each receipt it recovers is saved for everyone who comes after you.

pizza
$15.00
A standard pizza, as ordered and delivered.
added by @kaikaiAug 6
Pizza
$100.00
A single pizza priced at $1000, presumably a very large or luxury pizza.
added by @thatcrazystonerAug 6
Claude Max subscription
$200.00
Kaikai signed up for the top tier and never paid his share.
added by @thatcrazystonerAug 6
Bacon egg and cheese
$5.00
Breakfast sandwich, paid for out of pocket.
added by @emailAug 6
His third of the rent shortfall on a Tuesday
$7.95
Went to the cash point and came back with a story.
owed to @edisonchoyrecovered from the archiveDec 31
2-for-1 taco special, paid for both
$6.94
Said he'd venmo the difference. That was 2021.
owed to @hochmeisterrecovered from the archiveDec 31
Emergency ride-share across town
$28.02
@edisonchoy fronted it and never saw a cent back.
owed to @edisonchoyrecovered from the archiveDec 31
Vending machine double-charge
$6.93
He convinced me the machine owed him, so I covered the overcharge.
owed to @dylan_kellyrecovered from the archiveDec 31
Movie ticket and small popcorn
$15.37
I bought both because he forgot his wallet. Forgot to pay me back too.
owed to @tzak_lrecovered from the archiveDec 31
Late-night gas station snack run
$5.59
@hochmeister paid for his gas station hot dog. Kaikai said he'd get the next one.
owed to @hochmeisterrecovered from the archiveDec 31
Bodega umbrella during sudden rain
$7.57
He kept it. I kept the receipt.
owed to @superflameaurarecovered from the archiveDec 31
Half a footlong sub
$5.78
He took the bigger half and the smaller debt.
owed to @gaqerecovered from the archiveDec 30
Round of shots at the bar
$28.75
@neeto covered the round. Kaikai's tab remains open.
owed to @neetorecovered from the archiveDec 30
Public transit fare card top-up
$5.10
He borrowed my card and 'forgot' to reload it.
owed to @test123recovered from the archiveDec 30
Two-for-one smoothie deal
$11.90
He drank both and paid for neither.
owed to @orangerecovered from the archiveDec 30
Damaged book at the library
$10.73
He spilled coffee on it. I paid the fine.
owed to @couldbedanielrecovered from the archiveDec 30
New phone charger after he lost mine
$74.99
He said he'd order one. That was months ago.
owed to @acrid123recovered from the archiveDec 30
Bag of ice for his sprained ankle
$10.64
He used it, then let it melt. I paid.
owed to @cj_8370recovered from the archiveDec 30
Parking garage fee after he lost the ticket
$25.19
@dylan_kelly paid the lost-ticket fee. Kaikai said he'd cover it.
owed to @dylan_kellyrecovered from the archiveDec 30
Dinner for two at a sit-down place
$100.34
He ordered the most expensive thing and then 'forgot his card.
owed to @aronrecovered from the archiveDec 29